Are you looking for the light? 🌖

Manuela Rohr
4 min readNov 21, 2019

I’m hungry for the truth and the light. And I know the truth is not always beautiful and the light not always there.

I understand we need both to be fully human — darkness and light are partners in life.

I would love to have a lot of light in my life. You too? But I experience a lot of darkness and struggle. How about you?

Nadine’s quote is part of a story I’m in the process of writing. It’s about a special mom breaking down.

I know you can guess whom I am talking about.

I shared in my newsletter yesterday all this amazingness happening in my life. The book release. Sarina’s Universe. Online Yoga. And more books in the making. My Tiny Islands. And I embrace it. I created it. I worked hard for it, and I let the joy it creates be mine.

This beauty I get to experience by the many wins I have exists in a parallel world to where I feel pain and sorrow.

I often feel closer to the dark side of the moon. That’s what happens to parents of special children. More so when they realize their child cannot live alone. And the child is now an adult.

But I have a joy account right below my heart. It’s where I grow my love for life every morning with the first breath. I gather it as a gift of life. I am alive is what my inhale whispers to my heart. I am letting go is what my exhale reminds me to do. And as I do, joy bubbles up. It’s the first 🌴Tiny Island in my day.

And right there below my heart is also where I allow myself to grief. I grieve the losses in my life, the ongoing pain in my heart about my girl. I grief that I own the title, Special Needs Mom. The toxic stress that lives in my house because of my daughter’s disabilities (still a word I have a hard time using). I grief my husband’s dark times with depression that hangs in the walls of our home.

I share this with you because I want you not to give up when too much darkness is in your life. And I want you not to forget to practice to pause, to breathe and be present no matter how you feel. Think 🌴Tiny Island.

To live our life with mindfulness at its core is the key to fill our cup for the times when we experience more darkness. If your life graces you with beautiful light, the one you see Mr. Full Moon 🌝 gift us every month, don’t forget to be grateful. That’s your practice!

Share what you have with others. Reach out. Be kind. Hug yourself and others. Forgive yourself and others every day. Even forgive the ones who never said: sorry. I’m working on this one daily.

The picture with the quote shows the moon in Sedona, AZ, two weeks ago, through binoculars. Half-light. Half-dark. A reminder that both sides exist!

I googled about the phases of the moon. Holly molly l got reminded that it cycles through eight distinct phases in 29.5 days.

Eight. How many phases in your day are bright? How many are dark?

Inspired by the moon, I put my awareness around this question, intending to see what’s light. That was my practice for the last two days — looking for the light. I’m in a better place because I did. I wanted to not let the darkness I felt win over my light. The darkness that fills any home when depression moved in. It works and I will continue to be hungry for light and beauty.

My published book is light. Dare to Dream — Winning in Life and Work is the product of opening up to sharing my story. I did it! Today I gave myself two hours sitting in a cafe reading the stories. It’s a book you want to own! The stories teach you to dare to dream. That’s where you’ll find the truth and the light.

Two people came by asking me what I was reading. Two people now want to buy the book!!!🎉Celebration!

Reading the reviews left for the book on Amazon! 🎉🎉 double celebration. Thanks to the one reading this story know your review landed in my heart!

That’s light! That’s a joy. And I let it bubble over. It fills up my joy account to the brim. Anything challenging still exists, but my hunger for the light exists too. So I keep looking! That’s my practice.

Pause for a moment. Breathe. Let the struggle be. Feel your breath. The gift of life! Can you see the beauty in the light?

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Manuela Rohr

I am a writer, a body-mind expert, and the mother of a micro-preemie girl. I share my healing journey in my writings and teachings. www.manuelarohr.com